Somebody Else
by BrookeSutter
Summary: "Even though I know you're too busy loving somebody else and you're a million miles past gone... you can hear my heart say ooh, ooh, because you're loving somebody else." - Rico Love/ Clarke comes home after travelling with Lexa to find the object of her affection in a relationship with someone else. She doesn't want what happened with Finn to repeat so she takes the high road.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

The wind radiated, the low hum of rustling leaves lifted at high velocities smothering the sounds of her agonizing screams. There was only crimson—crimson everything—stains merged from a laceration on her outer thigh, blood ran from the claw mark across her stomach. "Clarke," She heard Lexa saying sternly, "We have to keep moving." A wail died in her throat as she inspected the equally beaten, equally bloody commander. Lexa's black mask tainted her cheeks, but she did not cry—she did not cry like Clarke desperately wanted to.

She did counteract a precedent, though, which could be mistaken for weakness. It was inconsistent of Lexa to remain by her side when she perishing. The grounder could leave her to die without difficulty. Lexa could part company with her and get back home to treat her own wounds, but she _stayed._ She searched her face while Clarke heaved painfully. "I don't think I can make it, Lexa." Clarke groaned, her ivory hand soaked with her blood as she applied pressure to the wound, "You have a better chance without me."

Lexa frowned, extending her hand to Clarke. "Don't be foolish." Clarke reluctantly gripped her rough hand, rising with frequent painful gasps before Lexa wrapped her arm around her to give her the proper balance so she could walk back to camp.

It'd been three long weeks of trekking across the green planet with Lexa and their small, now deceased, pack of grounder warriors. She would carry the heavenly oceans and how the sun beamed to create sparkling waves with her until the last breath escaped her pink lips—that memory would be hers. She would also carry the way her fingers felt as they crunched and melted mountain-top snow with her body heat. Her tongue would remember how she tasted the local delicacies of the oceanic grounder tribes and she would remember how she enjoyed their multiple tales of what they imagined life was like before the war. But even with the good, even with the experience she gained from multiple leaders—there were bad events plaguing her mind.

The first casualty was a result of hypothermia, Lexa said it was his own fault but Clarke blamed herself because she knew all about hypothermia and the importance of keeping warm—how many times had she lectured her people on the subject? She had not quit compiling a body count in her head even if her leadership role seemed to dissipate as more time passed. The second grounder warrior was killed by the trap of an ally, Lexa also said it was his fault for not paying attention. It seemed as if the suffering had ended but the third warrior was mauled by a female panther two miles away from Camp Jaha. That's how Clarke was attacked—trying desperately to save his life while Lexa prompted her to leave him. She'd yelled sternly, _"He's dead, Clarke, run!"_

"Talk about something." Lexa told her, "Don't focus on your pain. You were sad when we left, why?"

"That was three weeks ago, it really—"

"Why?"

Clarke sighed, "Bellamy and I shared a moment." Her voice was surprisingly nervous underneath the heavy breathing. "He kissed—we kissed. I know what you're going to say…love or whatever the hell that was is weakness. I understand. I know what it is."

"You forget I loved once." Lexa told her, side-glancing with furrowed eyebrows. "Love is a weakness…yes, it makes leaders vulnerable. It makes it easy to harm those with power. That does not mean _love _is evil and not something that deserves to be felt…although, most would say love demands to be felt."

Clarke frowned as if her mind wasn't constantly mesmerized by the memory of his lips upon hers right before she announced she was leaving with Lexa. He was pissed—he walked away. They never had the chance to talk about it because she was gone by morning. Honestly, it could be one of the reasons she attempted to extend the trip. "We are two very different people."

"Not as different as you pretend to be." Lexa said as they reached lower ground. "If you do not return his feelings, then tell him. Your partnership is too valuable to be subject to distrust and unfair torture."

"Unfair torture seems like an understated oxymoron." Clarke winced but she had to admit that her body was going numb, "It's not that I don't feel for Bellamy…I do….but what if it's not genuine. What if it's about opportunity? I have to think logically and logically I know that Bellamy has a history of unromantic, sexual relationships."

Lexa nodded, "Logic is reliable. Emotions are not."

"What if I destroy everything?"

"Then everything is destroyed and you rebuild. If nuclear weapons could not end the world, your relationship with Bellamy, whatever state it is in, certainly will not. I believe you are a strong person by yourself but every strong person needs a…" Lexa pursed her lips for a moment and Clarke knew her mind was drifting towards Gustus. "…person by their side to keep their head above whatever. Whether you choose to make that person a significant other is your business but the choice to proceed with the person that protects your life at the cost of his own should not be taken lightly. There will be consequences if your relationship fails…not detrimental but still, consequences."

"I'm unsure of how I want to take…"

"Clarke?" Lexa said, her voice softer. "You have to keep talking."

"…I don't want to disappoint, Lexa. I don't want to fail. I don't want to be weak…"

"Life is about sacrifice."

Clarke started to close her eyes and for the first time in a long time, Lexa felt panic running through her entire body. Her steps seemed to fall quicker, harder into the ground as she moved towards the Sky people's camp. Clarke was still breathing—it wasn't what she wanted, but it was better than the alternative.

Lexa felt like she was going to collapse before the electric fence by the time she reached it. She did not want to voice her concern, she did not want them to hear her _weakness _for Clarke. She passed her to the first person that offered to take her and stood shaking—"_Be strong." _She repeated Gustus' words in her head before she felt obligated to follow after Clarke. She did not trust the sky people. They were fools—who has a leader as great as Clarke and demotes her? Arrogant fools.

"What the hell happened?" Abby Griffin directed her question to Lexa. Lexa moved her eyes upward to meet the doctors.

Lexa was expecting the question from another. "Where is Bellamy?"

"What does Bellamy matter? What happened to my daughter?"

"Clearly she was attacked by an animal." Lexa said, "I thought you were educated. I do not have time for questions. Fix her." It was not until she was finished ordering the doctor around that she realized she was speaking as if Clarke was part of _her _people rather than a member of the sky people. She exhaled, "Panthers."

"Bellamy is in his tent with his girlfriend."

Lexa widened her eyes, "Well then…" Clarke was not going to be happy when she woke up. The pain would be bearable but a broken heart—that would be rough on her. The wheels were already turning in Lexa's head as she thought of plans to embark on another journey and another until Clarke was as strong as she was. The more distance between the people one cares about—the colder they will get and soon that compassion will freeze like Lexa's heart.

But could Lexa really say that her heart was frozen as she stared down at her friend?

Was that ice she felt in her chest or was it a warmth she was not familiar with?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

"_He's with somebody else."_

Lexa's confession remained with her long after the bandages were removed and the stitches were taken out. It haunted her in a way that she'd never been haunted before. The moment her world came to a halt replayed in her mind a thousand times a day and each time, the sting of it created more and more pressure. She tried not to see him with her. It was as if she were covering her eyes during the scariest part of the movie every time she caught a glimpse of his figure walking by her.

Her name was Nicole—a pretty name, really. Clarke couldn't pretend she didn't like the way it rolled off her tongue. It was a pretty name for a pretty girl with long brown hair and a slim figure. She was Bellamy's type and eventually Clarke convinced herself that she was Bellamy's perfect match. Nicole could love Bellamy in ways that Clarke could never—at least, that's what Clarke told herself every time the tears threatened to form in her eyes. Nicole had a nice smile, and she smiled often which was something Clarke rarely did. She wasn't a murderer, or as far as Clarke knew she wasn't a murderer—but Clarke killed people and that made _her _a murderer. She wasn't particularly annoying and she didn't have a bad habit of bossing people around.

In summary, Nicole was not Clarke.

But hell, sometimes Clarke didn't even feel like _Clarke. _

If Clarke ever started to get wishful, she had a healthy anchor that kept her to the ground. Raven. She looked at Raven and she remembered her past mistakes with Finn and told herself she would never make them again. Bellamy was in a committed relationship, the first Clarke had ever seen him in, and she wasn't going to ruin that because she cared for him.

That hardly meant she didn't have the urge to wreck the whole thing and take him from Nicole. Those urges were hard to control but she managed. She crowded herself around friends and she listened to them more than she'd ever listened to them her entire life. Why? Because she didn't feel like talking much anymore. They asked her about her trip at first but they eventually learned to leave it alone. She heard Jasper throwing around, "Post-traumatic stress" before they noticed she stood behind them. Her grounder-qualities were starting to get in the way of her relationships with her people. She would sneak up on them in a heartbeat, quickly do things by reflex like she was still fighting for survival…

The first time she could breathe without feeling like her lungs were going to collapse happened to be the day Lexa returned to camp. It was the day she genuinely smiled because Lexa had a proposition. They sat across from each other at a small circle table, sipping on water as Lexa began to speak. "I want to visit the Plains, Clarke." She said with a smile, "And I want to visit some of our friends. It's been two months since the attack and I feel as if our alliances are becoming uneasy. Plus, I hear your admirer wishes to see you once more." It was mid-afternoon and the sun glared harshly down on Clarke's ivory skin. They were both sweating—Clarke more than Lexa because Lexa was used to the climate.

"I don't have an admirer." Clarke rolled her eyes, a soft giggle erupting from her. "Pharaoh is a notorious flirt, you said so yourself. He's merely a friend."

Lexa shrugged, "You know how I feel about relationships that extend past political progress."

"Love is weakness." Clarke seemed to be filling in the blank but also reminding herself. _Love is weakness…Bellamy is a weakness… _Surely, it made sense sometimes to think that way. She was squandering her potential in Camp Jaha because her heart was broken, wasn't she? That was certainly weak, even for her. "When would you like to go?"

"As soon as possible." Lexa set down her jar, "I think it's time to consider creating a powerful treaty with one of the other clans, Clarke."

She snorted, "You're not seriously asking me to pick a husband."

Lexa shrugged, "Essentially, I am but not really…I'm asking you to pick your property. We both know that women have a stronger hold in grounder communities. If you marry a warrior you might become a leader."

"Might is the key word."

"You have to marry into the right type of family." Lexa claimed with pursed lips, "Pharaoh is the right type of family and he's fond of you."

"He's also twenty-eight." Clarke nearly hissed, "Pharaoh is attractive, sure but he's not exactly husband material."

Lexa leaned forward, "I'm not asking you to love him, Clarke. I'm asking you to think like a leader. Do what's best for your people. Prosper."

_Be logical…don't think about your heart—don't think about your heart… _

**REVIEW**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Octavia did not like Nicole.

She was not fooled by the smile, the sincere words, the fake interest in her well-being—no, Octavia didn't trust the bitch, hated her would be the better terminology. Nicole was pretty but she was not beautiful. Her first impression of Nicole was based off the fact that she was very dependent. Honestly, Octavia preferred to be around independent women such as Raven. Octavia would have been pissed if Bellamy started a relationship with Raven, sure but the Octavia would learn to love it if Nicole was the other option. It wasn't that Octavia found her brother completely idiotic, she just happened to think he was highly stupid. If the asshole couldn't wait three weeks for the love of his life to return, what could he do? Octavia was _convinced _Clarke was the love of Bellamy's life. There wasn't a soul that could tell her any different and there were people who tried to tell her different.

It was late but not so late that people had gone to bed. They lingered like ghosts, sipping on moonshine as an old record played in the background. The silence made Octavia uncomfortable—but so did the electric fence and the remnants of the Ark. She knew if she had a _real _choice that she would be anywhere but here. As fate would have it, Lincoln was an outsider to his clan and she had nowhere else to go if he wasn't willing to leave. She imagined this is what people meant when they said they were _stuck. _She wasn't standing out in the open of camp for no reason, though, and she wasn't alone. She caught the tense muscles of his back—her eyes observing his posture as she calculated her next words accordingly."Clarke's leaving again." Octavia squinted her eyes to watch how he reacted to the statement. He clearly already knew because he let out a quick breath and responded. _Bellamy, King of the Assholes, _Octavia thought momentarily.

"Clarke can do what she wants, she's a big girl." His dry response did not escape her. There were clearly unspoken emotions behind his statement. Still, it wasn't the response Octavia wanted to hear. The old Bellamy would _never _allow Clarke to endanger herself so frequently, of course—Clarke would fight him and probably get hurt anyway but it was tradition for him to put up some type of fight…and to see him do nothing to stop her broke Octavia's heart more than it angered her. It meant that he was giving up on true happiness and settling for _Nicole._ It meant that he was giving up on Clarke, a woman who put her faith in Bellamy when his faith in his own actions struggled. "I don't see why it matters to you anyway. It's not like Lincoln's going." _Snap, _Octavia felt her thoughts flood over her calculated argument as if a dam broke in her mind.

_How can you just stand there and say something like that? Try to diminish emotion from it all, Bellamy. Try to degrade every goddamn feeling you've ever had for her until _you _aren't _you_ anymore…you son of a bitch! Why can't you let yourself be happy? Why couldn't you give her time? Why'd you have to rush into something stupid? _

"She's my friend." Octavia said in a cold tone. Her chin tilting upwards as Bellamy faced her. "She used to be your friend, too." His eyes darkened at her implication.

He didn't want to talk about Clarke.

_You're only with Nicole because you're angry… _

Bellamy failed to grasp how his immature actions were causing people to make irrational decisions. _Just use your head! Come on! Bellamy don't give up, don't give up on her now…if you give up, if you don't let go of your fucking pride you're going to lose her forever! _"Clarke and I aren't friends. We were never friends." _Whatever lets you sleep at night… you're a fool Bellamy Blake. _"We were leaders and now we're not. End of story."

She felt the tears forming in her throat as she looked down at her feet. "What if she doesn't make it back this time?" Octavia asked him, watching as his eyebrows furrowed together at the thought. Clarke barely made it back last time and it _sickened _her to think that she was testing fate again. Hadn't she given enough? "Lincoln says these trips…these trips end two ways. She either dies or she's too far gone to ever come home." Octavia shook her head, forcing the tears away. "I'm not going to sit around and wait for that."

"What are you saying?" Bellamy nearly growled. At least his desire to keep her safe hadn't vanished in thin air like his desire to fight for what he wants. "I'm not going to let you go with her. Did she ask you to go with her?"

"No." Octavia said, "Because I can make my own choices. If I want to go with Clarke, I'm going to go with Clarke. There's not a damn thing you can do about it." She paused, a mocking smirk forming on her lips as she recalled his statement about Lincoln. "Don't worry, it's not like Nicole's going."


End file.
